I love colors. I love textures. I love how light gives them life. I love being able to see the beauties of nature, but without the help of corrective lenses the world changes into something new and beautiful. It becomes fluid. There are no more shapes or textures. It’s like you’re swimming through the different colors blending with each other. There’s certain calmness in it, and I love to look around me and let my mind get lost in this fluid world.
The scary part is that when my perception is telling me I am surrounded by soft liquid, in reality everything is solid. My bruises will stand witness to how wrong my eyes are. The fear of not seeing comes from the knowledge that there is something hiding in these beautiful colors melting all around me. That there is something there I really need to see.
I put on my glasses and the world becomes real. I take them off, and I feel liberated. Sometimes I crave that. My mind requires a break from noticing all the details that distract my train of thought and bring worries to my frayed nerves. This is the gift I was given, to peel the reality from the world and see it from the inside, to see molecules dance with each other as my eyes unsuccessfully try to focus. It is like looking into a different dimension hiding behind the “real” world. I get to enjoy both worlds, and the ride from one to the other takes only the split of a second it takes to take off these glasses.
Darkness has no colors. Light makes all the difference. It illuminates colors so that I can see them. It makes objects distinguishable. That is the only sight I still trust. Without it, I am truly lost.
This post was previously published on my old blog Stormy Waters of my Life.
